An Academic Outing


An Academic Outing


It were back in the days of the Ancients,

Round about three six seven BC—

The folk didn’t like counting backwards

But were still waiting  t’birth of J C.


They were planning the annual school outing

At Plato’s new academia;

The students were jostling and shouting

‘Til Plato called out, ‘Listen here!


‘We’ll need a good place for the outing,

Some food, drink and surely some sex;

So put on your thinking caps now, lads

And help me plan what we do next.’


The choice of the place caused confusion,

They argued it out for a day

‘Til Plato remembered his teacher

And asked, ‘What would Socrates say?’


One bright spark said he had remembered

That Socrates favoured the grass,

But it had been quite wet around Athens

So they let that suggestion just pass.


‘I fancy a cave,’ said old Plato;

The students all let out a sigh,

‘We want somewhere real,’ they grumbled;

So Plato’s idea didn’t fly.


At last they agreed on a venue

That suited them all to a tee;

It was old Epicurus’ garden—

A bit overgrown, but no fee.


‘And now for the food!’ someone shouted,

‘We’ll all bring some wine and some bread,

With olives and dates and some ouzo

There’ll be plenty to get us all fed.


‘For sex I have had an idea,

And we’re Greek so it’s not queer or strange,

We have all had our fill ‘o Sophia

So we’ll try Rhet or Rick for a change.’


Well, the outing went off as expected,

And everyone said it were grand,

So old Plato’s academia

Was voted the best in the land.

© Sarah Rochelle 2020